self image

[kirkcudbright]

I'm not looking for validation or anything, and I really considered comment-blocking this post. It's just an observation, by me, about me, which is this:

Whenever I see a recent (last few years) picture of myself, I'm surprised and dismayed at how fat I've gotten. Because fat isn't in my body image. OTOH, we were recently showing Kylie pictures from 20 years ago, and I'm young/slim/attractive in those, and I didn't feel any more attractive then. In fact, I haven't noticed any change in my body image over the last 20 years, even as my body itself has changed.

Comments

[mamishka.livejournal.com]

You're definitely rounder than you used to be, but I think that's pretty standard for most people as they get older. I notice it a lot in film stars - all slim and lean in their youth and then comes the Thickening. ;)

That said, I think you're equally attractive now as you were then. I can't even really remember what you looked like when we first met. The way you are now is the way that I think of you most of the time.

I think as long as you don't feel fat - that it isn't dragging you down or holding you back, then it's all good. I don't see you as 'fat' at all. The Thickening is inevitable for most people as they get older, and now you're all cute and snuggly. :D But I can relate. I'm much thinner in my mind than in reality.

This isn't validation, this is just how I see you. :)

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

I notice it a lot in film stars - all slim and lean in their youth and then comes the Thickening. ;)

Yes! I've noticed it too! It's not just in the girth of the waist/soft tissues. Even the jaw and facial bone structure widens. That's the verb I've used: they 'widen'.

The most amusing example IMO is Morrissey, who when he was young was this rail-thin waif. And now he just looks...normal.

[mrw42.livejournal.com]

I agree that you are somewhat heavier, and grayer than you were 20 years ago, and I also agree that you are just as attractive as you were back then. For me, anyway, your attractiveness has never been centered on your boy-ish figure -- it has a lot more to do with your eyes, your smile, and the warm, sweet, affectionate man who lies behind them.

[lillibet.livejournal.com]

Yeah--if you decide to get tough with the weight thing, don't do it for your viewers ;)

I've had remarkably stable weight over the past 20 years, but I still have days when I don't think about it and days when I feel like a horrible fat blob. I try to remember to step on the scale those days, because usually I'm either no different, or maybe a pound or two down. It seems to have nothing to do with my weight at all, and that's a really good thing for me to know.

I think it's sometimes harder for people who were skinny at one point than for those of us who've had the extra twenty or thirty years to come to terms with a robust physique.

[quietann.livejournal.com]

Very good point, that last one. A certain husband of mine has the same issue ...

[con-girl.livejournal.com]

Body image can be a nasty issue. Acceptance is not easy. Hugs.

[moominmolly.livejournal.com]

In fact, I haven't noticed any change in my body image over the last 20 years, even as my body itself has changed.

No content, just a me too. Well, last 15 years - I think I underwent a significant shift then, to thinking of myself as athletic. Since then, though, basically the same perceived attractiveness despite looking rather different.

Upon consideration, I think I've perhaps held steady in terms of, I don't know, my own perceived attractiveness relative to my cohort? That is, as we all grow thicker and crows-feetier, I continue to judge myself on the appropriate (shifting) scale. Mostly, though, I think I don't think about it, and just react to how people seem to react to me (which might be the same phenomenon).

[redheadedmuse.livejournal.com]

another "me, too". Particularly: when I look at photos of myself in college, I think, "Why did I not realize how beautiful I was?"

I think I feel *more* attractive now, because I've grown so much more comfortable with myself and my sexuality, even though I'm heavier and have stretch marks and permanent dark circles under my eyes, etc.

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Sing it, sistah. We're much more fabulous now. Those 20-somethings may look beautiful to us but I'll bet good money that 99% of then are miserable with their bodies and it'll take until their 40's before they realize what's what.

[imalion.livejournal.com]

I think your awesome. So take that.

Take that validation... take it!

Coming in late to the party...

[weegoddess.livejournal.com]

Um, you really don't need me to add Yet Another Vote for how OMG amazing you continue to be, right? ;->

But FWIW, I think that many of us have gained a bit of weight over the past few years. I only recently lost some of mine (according to the scale) though the mirror doesn't tell me that I look terribly different. Then I see myself in photos or on a Youtube vid I posted over a year ago and all I can think of is how very, um, meaty I look. So you really aren't alone. ;-/

[chocorua.livejournal.com]

For me, shedding ~10 kg over the past decade was a choice, whose implementation required a good deal of time spent hungry. For Dave B., who I saw Saturday at my mother's service, it wasn't a choice, it was the only way he could fight hereditary osteoarthritis. He looked good at possibly 2/3 of his weight when we all worked together.