I'm in Amsterdam for a few days post-IETF. It's 3:30 in the freaking morning, which is no time to be starting a post, ah well.
To start with, Amsterdam is an amazingly beautiful city. They've managed to keep everything at a very human scale - very little that's above 4 stories, nicely compact for the number of people it has. They mostly get the balance of old and new right. I totally dig the bike culture (though someone tried to sell me an obviously stolen bike, and there are plenty of abandoned and/or vandalized bikes). (There will be pictures, oh yes.)
Parenthetically, Massachusetts wants to be Holland when it grows up, but seems a little unclear on how to go about doing that.
Anyway, the meat of this post is that I took a bunch of mushrooms (which are legal here), and went wandering around. Amsterdam is really the best place in the world to wander around while tripping - canals, crazy architecture, friendly people, and it all feels so safe.
OTOH, I'm a pretty introspective person to begin with, and I ended up navel-gazing for a while in Rembrandt Square (which is sadly not one of the more attractive places, but safe (but OMG Rembrandt himself, so NOT overrated)). And the big epiphany (or one of them, at any rate) was the analogy of the puppets. (If you read
Skin Horse, I'm thinking of the therapy puppets.) Anyway, when I'm introspecting about relationships, I'm having some good insights, but I'm not actually talking to the people involved, I'm just talking to my own puppets of them, which may bear some resemblance to real people, but may also resemble a rabbit in a hat (I have this one at home) or a big ugly fish (ditto, and he has his own voice and shtick that was probably unconsciously modelled on Cookie Monster).
Anyway, the first-level epiphany is that I need to stop talking to the puppets, because that's basically talking to myself, and while it can amuse me for far too long, I need to be talking to the real people. Then it becomes a dialog.
The second-level epiphany was that everyone else has their own puppets of me, that bear some caricature resemblance to me, but aren't me. However (and this is the important part), if I don't make an effort to own myself, then all that people have to work with is their puppets of me. (One friend in particular (not on lj, unless he's stalking) has a pretty wild puppet show, from what I've seen.) But communication (especially really clear communication) takes time and energy, and I'm usually content to let other people play with their puppets, as long as they realize that's what they're doing.
There was more, enough to keep me brooding for a long time after I came down, but that's all that will fit on this postcard. The weather is lovely, wish you were here.